Monday Madness: What's in...Language?!?

So while I was writing the article "What's in a Name" for Sunday Jack, I kind of started playing around with what's in a word in my head.  Then different languages, then different cultures, then different time periods, alphabets, accents, modern, ancient, tower of Babel etc., etc.  And....who decided what was right and wrong in English class and what sick, twisted intellectual decided I needed to punctuate with a semi-colon or that I can't do run on sentences like I just did!  (Breathe...)  Have you ever actually thought about it, that is, where do languages come from?  Why are things named what they are?  It's actually quite maddening.

I thought I'd take a look at it and see what I could come up with.  I went to Wikipedia because they seem to know everything and guess what....that's right they don't know, it's only speculation.  The Big Bang theorists are trying to figure out when they believe "Pre History Man" developed vocal chords.  I then wondered how someone could pre-date history.  These people think man crawled out of the sludge and started grunting nonsense at some point in development.  While I would like to agree that some people do indeed prove the Theory of Evolution exists (Arnold Schwarzenegger, the lady I just saw at 7-11, most democrats, the entire basketball team from some countries, just to name a few),.,.,. I am not buying it (evolution that is), and I know I don't have to.  Or use proper grammer and punctuate this post correctly for that matter:-P. 

I have three theories I've come up with and I'll share them with you.

1.  Sounds and Sight

Here's an object.  It's round, encrusted with jewels and made of gold.  A guy is looking at it, picks up a cat and a pot, chucks them down the stairs, then listens and looks.  The noises become the name and the scratch marks the way you identify it or spell it IE, CROWN.  The Hebrews, Greeks and Latins had tons of time (while they watched slaves doing all the work) to sit on top of the pyramids throwing animals and objects off , then seeing what happened.  They are after all responsible for the "roots" of all our words.

In some cultures, they probably just looked at something, drew a tiny picture of it, threw an object, listened, and 9,001 pictures later you have a language.  Simple, easy to learn, practical.

2.  Aliens and Mayans

Why not!  They get blamed for everything else.  Any great invention, something unexplained, something insane, the end of the world, it's credited to them so why not language.  The Mayans used to offer human sacrifices so there is major human intelligence lacking but they did come up with a great calender, soooo, they could be the answer!

The aliens, well, the aliens control the human race and we are merely pawns in a monopoly game where pretty much each language is a property you buy. Some lucky alien wins at some point.  I don't know what they win but I'm sure it's amazing...like who gets to fire the first missile on what date in 2012.  I'm totally buying all of this!



3.  The theory I think is really correct is that man is endowed with intelligence and has been communicating in a divine state forever.  I believe that the basics of the language were given to Adam and Eve. Through the creative, inspired nature of man, language has evolved just as it was intended to.  And even helped along a bit with the Tower of Babel and detailed records kept from the beginning of mankind in the Garden of Eden until the present.  If you think about it, it's the easiest explanation because you can just go with it and trust that communication will continue.

So here's to a Monday Madness Musing which makes probably no sense.  I really don't care because I loved writing it and have worked out the confusion on language I was having.  Thank goodness. Because of my kind, humane nature, I was really not looking forward to throwing a cat down the stairs.  Ta Ta, Adios, Adieu, Chow, Sionara, Guten Tag, Good bye!  P.S.  I'm still mad at the English teachers.