The joys of modern air travel! Don't get me wrong...I love airplanes and the convenience and benefits of getting somewhere in relatively quick time. I have never had a fear of airplanes because I figure if your gonna go, you might as well go out with a bang and the airlines will settle up with your posterity. Sick and morbid, I know. I do enjoy airports for the simple fun of people watching. Like right now, I'm sitting in Salt Lake City watching three middle age couples getting ready to head to Vegas. It's obvious that the slots and bar at the casinos are the major attraction for this adventure. One is complaining the lemon muffin is too strong and another is complaining that there aren't enough eggs in his burrito wrap he bought for $6. Another family is sitting across the way with the two teenage sons looking miserable as they had to be here at 6:00 for an early check in. Good times on those long early flights with kids. I've done it many times.At least they have improved significantly in the check in process. You can do it online, at a kiosk, at the desk...all sorts of ways to get yourself to the gate or simply fouled up. I had to laugh at one guy who was trying to cut his way to the front claiming his flight left in 1/2 hour. One of those business guys that you can tell believes that the world owes him for simply gracing us with his presence. That's fine, I'm good with it. But he gets up to the front and did the cardinal sin...he ticked the the desk representative off. He was still standing there when we walked away to head for security. Rescheduling bites.
Of course then you have security. I don't find it to be all that bad. Unless the lines are long. Walk, stop, drop...moved forward about three feet. Repeat the process about 50 times and you are there. So how long have strict regulations been in effect? Oh probably at least 11 years. And yes people, you still have to take the liquids out. Make it easy on yourself and assume nothing has changed since the last time you did this. Yes, you have to take off your shoes, yes, you have to take out your computer, yes, you have to empty your pockets of change keys and cell phones. Don't do this and you earn yourself a pat down from Guido standing on the other side of the scanner. The new full body scanners? I hope if they use one on me they get a good scare.
And who designed airports?!? Some of them make complete sense and you get exactly where you need to go with great directions. Others, not so much. It looks like the architect left his computer on and the 4 year old got ahold of it and made a few major modifications. Los Angeles is my least favorite anywhere. Another thing I wonder about is how on earth do they remotely keep the luggage straight? I rarely check a bag, but when I do, I'm totally stunned that the bag ends up where it should be. I would love to go in a piece of luggage just to see how this works.
On the airplanes: Have you ever noticed that the stewardesses never age, or more accurately, the hair, make up and clothing never changes. My time clock would be so fouled up if I flew around that much. They do a great job and put up with some serious passenger nonsense. Like the bag that will absolutely not fit in the over head bin. I watched one woman this morning throw a fit when an obviously not fitting bag was checked to below. I personally would have liked to check her to below and let that valued bag take her seat. Kudos to the attendant for being polite and professional.
I forgot to mention boarding...it's a cattle stampede like the dinner bell rang. Why is anyone anxious to get on and sit up in a thrombosis inducing posture any longer than you have to. And heaven forbid, you move two feet in the wrong direction and end up on the first class rug. That is hallowed ground and they will make you move! The mat is much thicker and redder on the other side of the fence for the 3 seconds you are on it. I only have flown first class once when we volunteered to bump to another flight and were upgraded. I felt like a pompous idiot. Put me back with the rest of the slaves to flap my arms. If you have extra time though, that's a great way to get upgrades and flight credits.
The madness of air travel...Here's to a marvelous evolution we are able to enjoy. Don't like the minor inconveniences of check in, baggage, flight delays or cancellations? Get your shoes and start trekking across the plains or start swimming. I guarantee you will have a paradigm shift quickly..Later Mates!
And who designed airports?!? Some of them make complete sense and you get exactly where you need to go with great directions. Others, not so much. It looks like the architect left his computer on and the 4 year old got ahold of it and made a few major modifications. Los Angeles is my least favorite anywhere. Another thing I wonder about is how on earth do they remotely keep the luggage straight? I rarely check a bag, but when I do, I'm totally stunned that the bag ends up where it should be. I would love to go in a piece of luggage just to see how this works.
On the airplanes: Have you ever noticed that the stewardesses never age, or more accurately, the hair, make up and clothing never changes. My time clock would be so fouled up if I flew around that much. They do a great job and put up with some serious passenger nonsense. Like the bag that will absolutely not fit in the over head bin. I watched one woman this morning throw a fit when an obviously not fitting bag was checked to below. I personally would have liked to check her to below and let that valued bag take her seat. Kudos to the attendant for being polite and professional.
I forgot to mention boarding...it's a cattle stampede like the dinner bell rang. Why is anyone anxious to get on and sit up in a thrombosis inducing posture any longer than you have to. And heaven forbid, you move two feet in the wrong direction and end up on the first class rug. That is hallowed ground and they will make you move! The mat is much thicker and redder on the other side of the fence for the 3 seconds you are on it. I only have flown first class once when we volunteered to bump to another flight and were upgraded. I felt like a pompous idiot. Put me back with the rest of the slaves to flap my arms. If you have extra time though, that's a great way to get upgrades and flight credits.
The madness of air travel...Here's to a marvelous evolution we are able to enjoy. Don't like the minor inconveniences of check in, baggage, flight delays or cancellations? Get your shoes and start trekking across the plains or start swimming. I guarantee you will have a paradigm shift quickly..Later Mates!
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