Fragile Thoughts....

I usually blog when I'm happy, positive, and have something inspirational to say or quirky to write which fortunately is most of the time.  Not today.  I can't focus on my new business blog or get anything done around my house, so I figured writing might help.


Yesterday I received the terrible news that one of my cousins had passed away under very sad circumstances.  She left behind a family of five children and her husband, not to mention countless friends and extended family who love and miss her. 


Of course memories come flooding back from childhood, they are some of my favorites that I have.  We would spend a week on a houseboat every year with her family at Lake Powell and there wasn't anything that I looked forward to more.  Family reunions, trips to Flaming Gorge, skiing at Vail:  the visions keep coming back.   I remember her how she was then.  Those perfect moments.


But you grow up, become involved in your own family and world and all of these beautiful memories are locked away somewhere in your mind.  Until something brings them racing back. The happy times are tainted and shadowed now.


I wish we all could know what those we love will become and face.  Is there something we could have done to change the course of events?  That's a horrible web to weave and untangle if one searches for a way in the past that might have changed the future.  "What if", I think, are the most haunting words on the planet.


I can say grief and anguish can pass with time, but for some, will it?  I hope so.  I pray for it.  For now all I'm left with are fragile thoughts.  


A lonely impulse of delight,
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.
                            William Butler Yeats