Friday My Life's Personal Journal: Wishes and Dreams

Today's journal is a bit more subdued.  I unfortunately have spent far more time alone than I would like to and have had more than enough opportunity to reflect.  Do some soul searching.

I was thinking the other day about wishes.  Have you ever experienced it?  A wish that you wished so hard for, dreamed about, and hoped for?  That dream you wished for happens and down the road, the tumbles and trials of life leave you searching for the reason you wanted it.

I'm not talking about something like a wish for a car, or a trip, or a new couch.  I'm talking about the wish for a life changing event.  The kind that requires every ounce of passion, creativity and ingenuity to achieve that you've got.  The ones you will into reality.

For some people this would be having a child.  I fortuneatly did not have to experience the grief and trials of not being able to have one.  But I have friends and relatives that did.  It was heartbreaking to watch.

Some wishes that come true may have altered the path so significantly that eternity comes into play.  The ones where you hear someone whisper in your ear, "Are you sure you want that?".  Yes, Oh Yes!! "Then you will get exactly what you wished for."  Those are the ones I can't remember why I wanted

When broken dreams happen, and they will to everyone, all you can do is pick up the pieces and move on.  The process leads us through the various stages of human emotion to hopefully, acceptance and peace.  In many cases, I believe, not without divine help.  That process is one you get to choose.  How long will you hang on to grief, pain, and anger until you let it go...that is for us to decide.  Help is all around, but it is us that has to let it go.  And hopefully we didn't do something stupid as a reaction to it.  Cleaning up one mess is bad enough.

It's hard when the "wish come true" negatively affects those closest to us.  Added to our suffering is the grief of watching someone we love suffer too.  This is especially true for our children.  They do not ask for the consequences of adult choices, but instead have no choice but to bare it.  Sometimes for a lifetime.  Stupid wishes.

My real wish is for love, happiness and family and it can exist where I am.  Sometimes the dream just has to be rebuilt around the circumstances present.  It's possible, and a new, hopefully wiser wish takes it's place.  So here's to wishes and dreams, they fuel our existance.  Choose them carefully.  Janet B.