Thursday Treasure: Give A Little Bit

This is kind of a different treasure, but since treasure is in the eye of the beholder (me), this is gold.  Music has always had so much power.  Just listening to a song can change one's mood for an entire day or more.  And that's for good or bad.  I look for good music often to make a difference in my life.

Lately I have been giving a lot of focus on thinking outside of my microcosm of a world.  Hence, the reason for the blog.  It is too easy to become so wrapped up in our own struggles, pain and fears, we don't notice that pretty much everyone else around us is suffering as well. 

The only sure way I know to get out of the mire of our own lives is to do something for someone else...no matter how hard it seems to tear ourselves away from our own trials.  It's a guaranteed way to bring some joy back into your life and remember the good you already have.  I was trying to come up with a pick me up and remembered Oprah played this song on one of her shows.  So this song is the treasure I found again this week.  It has always been one of my favorites.

First, friends from Teton Valley give a shout out if you think this cover picture was shot off one of the switchbacks going up to Grand Targhee.  I think it is.  I also think they borrowed my piano for the shot because that's what it looked like when I lived there.

If you listened to that song and didn't feel your soul lightened a bit, you have to lay off the Xanex.  It moves me to get up, find something positive to do and celebrate!  No matter what the circumstances may be.  The link below is to a MP3 download if you are interested.   

So take my advice and do some good in the world.  And if that's not good enough, then take hers:

"Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work."

Mother Teresa

Tuesday Travel: Pirate's Tortuga

 

Last week I wrote about The Cayman Islands for the travel piece because they were originally named Tortuga and my favorite place in the Caribbean.  This week we will go to Pirate's Tortuga.  This island is situated off the northwest coast of Haiti, which is located on the island of Hispaniola.  I have not been to this particular island but have been to Labadee, Haiti.  Don't be scared off because of preconceived notions about Haiti.  It is a beautiful place with many treasures to be found.

The history is fascinating. This was truly the Tortuga referenced in the Pirates movies.  The island was known by the native people but was never used as a permanent settlement until Christopher Columbus landed there in 1493.  (I think Christopher Columbus was the 15th century Travel Channel star.)  The island was named Tortuga because it is shaped like the back of a turtle.

Basically, the Spanish, French, English and Dutch pushed each other around trying to settle the island in the 1600s.  Plantations were set up and African slaves brought in to work them.  The slaves did not cooperate well and chaos reigned.  While they were doing that, pirates or buccaneers began using the island heavily as a home base due to it's location and ease of attacking ships coming into the Caribbean.

The crowd on the island was a bit unruly.  My favorite story was that in 1645, the acting French governor brought in 1,650 prostitutes to try to calm everyone down.  History doesn't elaborate on how that worked out, but needless to say, it became a true pirate island.  The pirates were often hired as "hit men" by the various countries to strengthen their positions in the Caribbean, but they were hard to control.

The island remained a strong pirate hide out until around 1680 when the French put their foot down and signed the Treaty of Ratisbon making piracy illegal.  This put an end to a free buccaneer port on the island.  The commerce then became logging and farming.  Government was transferred to French Haiti where is remains today.

Modern day civilization is a bit sketchy but there are beautiful homes and some development.  The roads have been cut in by locals and power is by generators.  The only hotel, The Princess, is abandoned.  To get there, you go by boat or plane when the two small airfields are functioning.  There are local drivers and guides you can hire.

According to travel articles, the best beach is Pointe Saline on the western tip.  At the Les Palmiste on the eastern coast, visit a pre-Columbian rock carving of a goddess at La Grotte au Bassin.  Basse-Terre on the southeastern coast is home to the remains of Fort de la Roche, once the island's biggest fortress.  My take on tourism there is that if you go to Tortuga, it's because you are a history buff, want something off the beaten path, and don't mind roughing it.

Haiti itself has the lowest standard of living in the Caribbean.  However, in Labadee, Haiti where I went, the people were friendly, the food was good and I didn't get sick from the bottled water.  We rode jet-skis there and had a great time.  There was also a zip-line, diving, and fishing.  It is not for the faint of heart tourist because along with the beauty, you see devastating poverty.  I personally would love to go back on a humanitarian trip to help rebuild from the earthquake.

That's a very brief hopefully enlightening look at Pirate's Tortuga.  So…yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

Monday Madness: What's in...Language?!?

So while I was writing the article "What's in a Name" for Sunday Jack, I kind of started playing around with what's in a word in my head.  Then different languages, then different cultures, then different time periods, alphabets, accents, modern, ancient, tower of Babel etc., etc.  And....who decided what was right and wrong in English class and what sick, twisted intellectual decided I needed to punctuate with a semi-colon or that I can't do run on sentences like I just did!  (Breathe...)  Have you ever actually thought about it, that is, where do languages come from?  Why are things named what they are?  It's actually quite maddening.

I thought I'd take a look at it and see what I could come up with.  I went to Wikipedia because they seem to know everything and guess what....that's right they don't know, it's only speculation.  The Big Bang theorists are trying to figure out when they believe "Pre History Man" developed vocal chords.  I then wondered how someone could pre-date history.  These people think man crawled out of the sludge and started grunting nonsense at some point in development.  While I would like to agree that some people do indeed prove the Theory of Evolution exists (Arnold Schwarzenegger, the lady I just saw at 7-11, most democrats, the entire basketball team from some countries, just to name a few),.,.,. I am not buying it (evolution that is), and I know I don't have to.  Or use proper grammer and punctuate this post correctly for that matter:-P. 

I have three theories I've come up with and I'll share them with you.

1.  Sounds and Sight

Here's an object.  It's round, encrusted with jewels and made of gold.  A guy is looking at it, picks up a cat and a pot, chucks them down the stairs, then listens and looks.  The noises become the name and the scratch marks the way you identify it or spell it IE, CROWN.  The Hebrews, Greeks and Latins had tons of time (while they watched slaves doing all the work) to sit on top of the pyramids throwing animals and objects off , then seeing what happened.  They are after all responsible for the "roots" of all our words.

In some cultures, they probably just looked at something, drew a tiny picture of it, threw an object, listened, and 9,001 pictures later you have a language.  Simple, easy to learn, practical.

2.  Aliens and Mayans

Why not!  They get blamed for everything else.  Any great invention, something unexplained, something insane, the end of the world, it's credited to them so why not language.  The Mayans used to offer human sacrifices so there is major human intelligence lacking but they did come up with a great calender, soooo, they could be the answer!

The aliens, well, the aliens control the human race and we are merely pawns in a monopoly game where pretty much each language is a property you buy. Some lucky alien wins at some point.  I don't know what they win but I'm sure it's amazing...like who gets to fire the first missile on what date in 2012.  I'm totally buying all of this!



3.  The theory I think is really correct is that man is endowed with intelligence and has been communicating in a divine state forever.  I believe that the basics of the language were given to Adam and Eve. Through the creative, inspired nature of man, language has evolved just as it was intended to.  And even helped along a bit with the Tower of Babel and detailed records kept from the beginning of mankind in the Garden of Eden until the present.  If you think about it, it's the easiest explanation because you can just go with it and trust that communication will continue.

So here's to a Monday Madness Musing which makes probably no sense.  I really don't care because I loved writing it and have worked out the confusion on language I was having.  Thank goodness. Because of my kind, humane nature, I was really not looking forward to throwing a cat down the stairs.  Ta Ta, Adios, Adieu, Chow, Sionara, Guten Tag, Good bye!  P.S.  I'm still mad at the English teachers.

Sunday Jack: What's in a name.

One of the first things we learn about Capt. Jack Sparrow is that he doesn't just go by Jack Sparrow,  it is always Captain Jack Sparrow.  All four movies bear record of the pride he takes in his name.  Here's a brief review of the scene where Jack's name is first learned. In Curse of the Black Pearl, he has just saved Elizabeth Swann, the Governer of Port Royal's daughter, from drowning.  Of course he isn't out of trouble because he's Jack, and is confronted by Commodore Norrington of the British Navy. 

Norrington:  "Well well, Jack Sparrow isn't it?'

Jack,  "Captain Jack Sparrow."

Later in the scene:

Norrington:  "You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."

Jack:  "But you have heard of me."

Jack escapes capture for the moment and leaves these parting words

Jack:  "Gentlemen, my Lady, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!"

That's most definitely Captain Jack Sparrow and many future scenes bear humorous record of it.

The lesson I gathered from this is to take pride in one's name and of who you are.  Jack is not the richest, best dressed, socially accepted, cleanest person on the planet but he claims his name proudly.  I believe he does this for two reasons:  his heritage and comfort with his life's story so far.

I personally am proud of my heritage.  I realize that I am not the lone member of my family, but simply a strand in the web that joins me to my ancestors, past and future.  Most of mine are originally from England and came as settlers to America.  From there, they were pioneers in crossing the American plains and settling the West.  That foundation allowed me to be born and raised in a great environment and to freely accomplish what I choose to.  It's funny but at times I will look at the state of my life and say, "Are my grandparents proud of me?".  I have gaged success and failure on this one question many times. 

If you don't know much about your family, find out.  It's fascinating and there are many web sites that can help you with your genealogy.  Your history gives you both roots and wings.

As far as one being comfortable with your life story, names and deeds can live on in infamy.  Think of Martin Luther King or Hitler, Joan or Arc or Biblical Abel:  history remembers them for the good or bad they accomplished.  How would you like your name to be remembered?  To quote a song by REO Speedwagon:  "If you're tired of the same old story, baby turn some pages." 

If you aren't in a great environment, no excuses, make your own. That's what I'm being forced to do right now being a newly divorced, single mother...create new circumstances.  How will future generations remember me?   To a great extent, I get to choose it.  I can promise that the focus will be on accomplishing wonderful things for others that would make first, my Father in Heaven, then me, my family, my ancestors, and perhaps even society proud. 

So take pride in your name and live to shout it out loud.  Later mates!  

Saturday Inspiration

My Favorite Quote of All Time

"What We Do In Life, Echos In Eternity"

This quote comes from the character Maximus, played by Russell Crowe, in "Gladiator".  It's another of my favorite movies.  Simply put, but so powerful and so true.  The photo was take while wave watching at End of the World in Keauhou, Hawaii with my dive camera.

Friday Life's Personal Journal: Go Big or Go Home

I was going to post a somewhat sad personal journal entry today because the Fridays my kids leave for the weekend are extremely difficult and depressing for me.  But bag that because I happened on a YouTube video that brought back so many great memories and feelings that I had to share it. 

I used to guide rivers while in college during the summers in Moab, Utah and still love to keep watch on the water levels.  Every once in awhile, a snow year comes along in the Rockies and the stars align to dump a truly epic amount of water down the Colorado river and through Cataract Canyon.  It is not regulated by a dam so the level in this video is 90,000 cfs (cubic feet per second) or really big.  The normal peak is between 45-50,000 cfs so it's almost double.  This is a super short video and there is a swear word in the sound bite....although if I had hit the wave like that, I most likely would have said something similar.  The raft is a big 30 footer with a motor to judge the true power of the water.





I almost swam the Pacific to get to that water!!  What a rush!!  It's kind of a personal motto of mine to go big or go home and it has gotten me into more than a few adrenaline filled moments.  Those are some wild memories.  Some weren't so wild from those summers and it might be those that I treasure the most.

I remember one in particular that was on the Green River in Desolation Canyon, Utah.  We had set up camp, fed the passengers, and headed them in the direction of settling in for the night.  As was tradition for me, I went by the back of my boat in my swimsuit to bath and wash my hair.  I looked around and all was still.  The sun was setting high above the canyon walls and reflecting all colors of pink, purple, orange, red and yellow from the sky all the way down to the river which was glassy smooth.  All I could hear was the sound of the current, otherwise, silence.  I just sat there and soaked it in.  It was one of the most peaceful and serene moments I have had.  I can still feel it and will cherish it always.

It unfortunately didn't last for too long.  The next day I woke up, looked over, and saw a 4 inch green spider a foot away from my face that must have crawled over me in the night.  I got big air jumping off the boat tube screaming.  Then later in the week I jumped off a 60 foot high bridge girder into chocolate milk colored water on a dare, and pinned a raft to a canyon wall.  That also may have been the week that a black bear walked right over the top of one of my passengers while he was sleeping.  But, it was peaceful for a moment.

I hope all of us at some point can reflect on those events, wild or serene, that helped shape our lives. Memory lane can be a great place to visit.  And in the future make as many good, BIG ones as you can.  That's certainly what I plan to do depite living with challenging circumstances. Now if I can just remember where I put my cell phone. 

Thursday's Treasure: The Strangest Secret

I am a big fan of Earl Nightingale.  He is widely recognized as the "dean of personal development".  In 1956, Earl Nightingale recorded a "pep talk" as he called it for his employees working for him at an insurance company he owned.  It electrified everyone who heard it and was eventually used in Earl's radio program call The Spoken Word.  It went on from there to attain a Gold Record, something rare for a work like this.  The recording became know as The Strangest Secret.  Earl's partner Vic Conant and Simple Truths Publishing have published this work into a book which includes text as well as a CD of the message. 

link

After my treasured scriptures and religious works, this is hands down the best book I have ever read and I've read a lot of books.  It is short, easy to read and has pictures.  BEAUTIFUL pictures and even as an adult, I love pictures in books!  The caption says it all as it proclaims the book to teach "How To Live The Life You Desire".  Now that would be something worth learning.

The first page has a quote from Dr. Albert Schweitzer (a Nobel prize winner) that I love.  He was asked by a reporter, "Doctor, what's wrong with men today?"  His reply after pondering for a moment was, "Men simply don't think."  I'll agree with that.  Most days I don't think I think.  Life becomes a pattern of habit and ritual.  But when I do think...all sorts of wonderful things happen.  I redefine success, set goals, and dream of achieving them.  If I focus, I achieve them.  If I don't focus, I don't achieve them.  Makes sense doesn't it.  That's why I love this book because just reading a couple of short pages packs motivation to focus and achieve.

Earl discusses how to define success in your own life and that the two edged sword to achieving it is to learn to control your thinking and beliefs.  Henry Ford may have said it best, "Whether you believe you can or you can't, either way you are right."  He also teaches an effective way to set goals and persist in reaching them. 

I can't even begin to skim the surface of the knowledge and information contained in this short book.  I can only suggest you read it for yourself and see.  If you are a religious person you will love it.  If you are not a religious person you will love it.  If you don't, you may be the most pessimistic person on the planet.  I've lost track of the number of copies I have purchased and given away.  The book is not expensive and there's a link below if you are interested.  It is truly a treasure to me.

Wednesday Pirates Tidbits: Why Pirates

Unless you know me you might ask "Why Pirates?".  Why would a 44 year old middle age semi mid-life crisis mother be writing a blog on "Pirates of the Caribbean" and Captain Jack Sparrow.  I'm not obsessed with them like a full blown Trecky, I have just watched, listened and gone through my kids movie of the month fettish with them.  It's simple…I find the movies, characters, and locations fascinating.  And since I'm divorced I can now officially say that Johnny Depp is hot.  I'm not saying necessarily that I would have liked to be alive during that era because I really like modern day plumbing, soap, toothpaste, airplanes and Taco Bell.  But the spirit of adventure and a longing to travel get me every time.

The whole series of movies contains a variety of flawed characters both good and bad and I can relate to that.  I also think there are a few lessons to be learned.  The one liners are entertaining and enlightening so just to name a few:


Capt. Jack, "Can we pretend that she is anything but a woman scorned who's fury hell hath no?"
Many, "Sea Turtles, mate."
Capt. Jack, "Cuttlefish…let us not dear friends forget our dear friends the cuttlefish."
Capt. Jack, "I want my jar of dirt."
Hangman on accusations for Jack's hanging, "Impersonating a Cleric of The Church of England."  Jack smiling back, "Oh Ya."

The list goes on and on and I'll address as many as I come up with.  Today's Pirates tidbit is the scene in Pirates 3 where Jack is exchanged for Will at a meeting before war between the British (there they are again) and the pirates.  Jack is forced to stand next to Davy Jones .  It was Jones' locker Jack had escaped from where he would have had an eternity of madness and condemnation.  No one escapes the locker and  I'm pretty sure Jones would love to send him back.

Davy Jones: "Do you fear death?"

Captain Jack: "You have no idea"

I love that line because my five year old has been saying it to everyone since she was two in a hilarious Irish accent.  The scene in the movie makes me laugh every time.  The question is a valid one though.  Do you fear death?  My answer is:  " No I don't".  I don't want to prematurely leave my kids here on earth and I like helping people and playing down here, but, otherwise I'm good with it.

So ask yourselves, "Do you fear death?"  If you do, you better figure out why and address it now.  Beware the Locker Mates! 

Tuesday Travel: The Cayman Islands

Have you ever had the desire to visit Tortuga?  Ever wondered if the place really exists?  Yes it does and the Cayman Islands are it…technically.  This is a place I have been six times with and without children so I know it well and it's probably my favorite place in the Caribbean.

The Cayman Islands were first sighted by Christopher Columbus on May 10, 1503  (the guy really got around).  He named the islands Las Tortugas after the number of sea turtles there.  That's right, "Sea Turtles Mate".  They were later renamed by Sir Francis Drake in 1586, The Cayman Islands after caiman which means alligator.  The man must have been drinking a lot of rum to mistake an iguana for an alligator but the name stuck.

The Caymans were largely uninhabited until the 17th century when an eclectic mix of pirates, English, Spanish, Africans and whomever was ship wrecked began to colonize the islands.  The nation was under British rule (wasn't everybody) until 1962 when they became a separate Crown colony.  They are a tax exempt destination thanks to rescuing a group of 10 British merchant ships stuck on the reef.  King George III promised to never introduce taxes, which means I'm moving there next.   The Caymans enjoy the highest standard of living in the Caribbean.

There are three islands in the chain:  Grand Cayman, Cayman Brac,  and Little Cayman.  They are located south of Cuba and west of Jamaica on the Cayman Ridge.  That drop off is about 8,000 ft. and makes for some cool wall dives.  The Caymen Trench was the setting for the movie The Abyss.  It's one of my favorites.  The main population of the app. 55,000 residents lives on Grand Cayman where the bulk of the tourist development is.  Weather is warm to very warm with hurricane season occurring from June-October.

These are all small flatish islands but so much fun, so where to start.  For me that's always underwater.  The  Caymans offer some of the best diving and snorkeling in the Caribbean with healthy protected reefs and wonderful visibility.  No worries if you don't want to get your face in the water as there are operations that offer a shallow submarine and semi submersed experiences.  One of the funnest things I have ever done there was a swim with the stingrays at Stingray City.  The water is shallow and you shuffle around while the behavior conditioned stingrays come in to feed on bait scattered around you.  My kids have done this and the risk is very low.

Above water there is also much to do.  Little Cayman is chilled and laid back so relax is the order of the day.  Cayman Brac has a lot of hiking terrain and caves where residents used to hide from the hurricanes. On Grand Cayman, variety is the spice.  You can go to Hell and send yourself a postcard which arrives a couple weeks later at your home in the arctic tundra and you can reminisce about being in Hell.  It's really a cool landscape of erie rocks and such or an extended trip with kids.  Kidding, but it's fun to say you have been there.  There's also the Turtle Farm where turtles are raised and Seven Mile Beach with gorgeous powder white sand.  For a slice of laid back paradise, drive all the way around to the other side of the island to Rum Point and find yourself in much more solitude.

In Georgetown my must visits when I visit are the rum cake shops where samples rule (the closest I've ever come to drinking), and a jaunt through the shops where I don't spend money because I hate shopping except for T-shirts.  Restaurants are plenty, good and diverse, but plan on spending a bit more than say Cozumel because the exchange rate isn't favorable to most currency.  Every November, if you can swing it, the islands have a pirate festival and all things pirate abound. Dressing up is good fun as are all of the activities for 1 1/2 weeks.

This review barely skims the surface.  So come by cruise ship or plane and discover it for yourself.  It's my quintessential Caribbean.

Settling in..

So, this being a new adventure for me, I am organizing a pattern for writing on topics.  I am planning to spend a couple of days during the week analyzing Capt. Jack and other "Pirates" tidbits.  On the other days, I will devote a day to discuss travel in the Caribbean and eventually other places I have traveled, review self help material that I have used and studied, have a melancholy post and an obnoxiously humorous post, then once in a while write on whatever happens to come along.  I would love feedback from friends, family and anyone who happens to read these as my goal truly is to help someone who may be reading.  So keep a watchful eye on the horizon mate, or in this case computer, and I'll let you know what's up.  Thanks for checking it out.

Sunday Jack...A tribute to Fathers

Today being fathers day, it's the perfect time to look at the relationship between Jack and his father Capt. Teague, who is played by Rolling Stones guitarist Kieth Richards.

There is a particular dialog that is one of my favorites in all of the movies.  It occurs in Pirates 3 after the Brethern Court.  (If you haven't seen the Pirates movies it's ok, just go with it.)  Jack approaches his father and says,

"What..you've seen it all, done it all,..you survived.  That's the trick isn't it? To survive?"

Capt Teague replies, "It's not just about living forever Jacky.  It's about living with yourself forever."



There isn't much better advice a father could give his son.  In our own busy lives there is so much to think about that is happening in the moment.  Many worthy activities consume our days: work, school, kids, social engagements, groceries, laundry, boy scouts, ballgames, simply surviving....the list goes on and on.  As does time, it stops for no man.  I get a kick out of many ways that people use to try to turn back the hands of time: surgery, make up, hair replacement or dye, the search for a younger companion, or simply behaving like an adolecent.  That's another list that goes on and on and I may have been guilty of a few myself.  It doesn't work.  You can never retrieve the time that has passed.

It boils down to this, there is no fountain of youth.  We all get to die.  At what point do we take stock of what we have done on this earth.  On our deathbeds?  Every New Year?  I hope not.  Taking stock of our lives should be a daily ritual.  A good question to ask is, "If I left this world tonite, could I live with myself forever?"  Some days I pass this test, some days I don't. 

Life it a compilation of many days and if daily you can say that you have done the best you can for others, your family and yourself, over all, life will have had meaning and a positive impact. You can live with yourself for the choices you have made.  Our naturally selfish nature will have been replaced by one forged in helping humanity.  Learn from the past, enjoy the present, and make meaningful choices for the future. 

Each persons definition of success in this will be different, but with applied focus it will move to a higher and grander plane.  It did for Jack, ultimately in the end of the movie he sacrifices his sure way to live forever on this earth when he was holding it right in the palms of his hands.  He gives it to a friend to save his life.

So here's to fathers everywhere, for what they teach us and the example they set.  If yours isn't a positive one, honor someone who is.  My Dad is wonderful and I love him so much.  Happy Father's day Dad.



The "Ex" Factor

Why am  I getting a divorce?  I have no idea!  He was suppose to be the one that I was married to for eternity.  So what happened.  Twenty one years have gone by, so much living, so many memories...Christmases, birthdays, family vacations, photos...all of it so vivid as if it were yesterday.  I remember the day we were married, it was cold and bright in December.  We honeymooned in Jackson Hole, WY...so fun those cold nights spent in the hot tub.  Then off to Oregon it was for dental school.  Two of our children were born there.  We took trips to Cannon Beach on the coast, ate clam chowder at Moe's, and walked in the tide pools.  Next it was Flagstaff, AZ where we stayed for a year.  The Grand Canyon was close and Sedona AZ, all so fun for a young growing family. 

Our next home was Teton Valley where we would live for 15 years.  It was home in every way.  We had our other three children there.  It is a small area so we knew everyone.  Our dental practice was very successful and my husband became a fabulous dentist.  There was camping, and skiing, and small town USA: the place where the Fourth of July parade was the high light of the year.  So many school programs, dance recitals, chilly nights with beautiful snow storms and warm summer breezes blowing through aspens.  It is as real to remember it as it was then to experience it.  Of course there were problems but we were a family and a strong couple, we could handle anything. 

So the time of life changes and a move to Hawaii promised even more happiness and adventure.  I was feeling that my marriage was as strong as ever and that we were closer than ever.  That's why the announcement of divorce was such a shock.  I wanted to work it out and still do.  I love my husband and can't think of anyone else I would rather spend  forever with.  I told him I would not fight with him for the sake of the kids, that I wouldn't stop it but didn't agree at all with it.  I still don't but refused to fight.

Now, memories are tainted, dreams are shattered, hope is fleeting and the future is clouded.  My thoughts of longing for my marriage have turned to absolute devotion to my kids.  That's the way it will be and I have to move on.   I can find joy in very small things like coloring with my little girls, swimming for hours in the summer, and enjoying mac n cheese for dinner.  Twenty one years is a large gap to fill and I often wonder if I can do it but know that I have no choice.  The sun always comes up and always sets, days always pass.  Now it's up to me to determine a new path.  Shock turns to grief, grief turns to sadness, and sadness turns to acceptance...it is happening and I'm still living, hanging on tight, but living.

Just the beginning

The greatest failure and test of my life...a divorce.  I didn't even see it coming.  Shock followed by sadness followed by anger then acceptance.  This cycle is repeated almost every day.  In the five months following my husband's revelation that our marriage is over, life has settled into a pattern of when do I get my kids, how long are they away from me, how did this happen, and how can I go on.  The truth is I have to go on.  I have 5 kids and I love them with everything I am.  They are the light of my life and I have to show them that despite adversity of any nature, you can go on and even thrive.  Am I thriving?  No, not yet, but writing this blog is a start. 

My purpose in writing this blog is to vent on any subject that comes to mind, have fun with a little analysis of Capt. Jack, and most importantly to see if anything I have to say can help someone else.  I hope so.  I feel so deeply what sadness is right now.  In the midst of it, I look around and see so many other people mired in their own grief and trials.  No one escapes it, not in this life.  But being a deeply religious person I also believe that we are here to experience joy.  Have I experienced it?  Absolutely..in the birth of my children, while scuba diving, while camping on a beach on the Colorado river, eating chocolate, having a tax audit done (oops not that).  The point is that the list of joy goes on and on, it's just that sometimes I forget to remember it.

So Love it, Hate it, Read it, Don't, Add to it, Comment and Review....I'll ride the waves to where ever this therapy takes me.  So to add a quote from the blog's namesake, "You're suppose to be dead!"  Capt Jack, "Am I not?".  Nope, I'm not and I don't plan on it anytime soon.